i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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