Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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