Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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