I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Slut skills are useful in every country.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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