Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
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if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
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Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
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Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize