My nipple is on Facebook.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
