Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize