last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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