Define "chronic" masturbator.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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