it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
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You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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