i always forget guys have bellybuttons
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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