tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
So much Jack, so little girl.
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