Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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