may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
