am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
