Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
the condom got lost in my hair
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
