We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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