Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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