she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
