so explain again why im purple
no
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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