no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
