So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
