last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
