If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
