i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
she looked like the before picture.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
