If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize