Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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