from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
