i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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