she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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