I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
The streets are paved with hand jobs
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize