I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
