it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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