rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
