Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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