so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
