I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
