my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
