She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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