to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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