you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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