What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
