do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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