it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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