i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize