Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
