i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
