you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize