her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
