so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
