I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
