Already got asked if we're dating
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
