I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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