She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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