The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
