We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
We got so high we made milksteak
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
im calling her cock vulture from now on
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
