He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize