i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
