I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
