I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
