shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
