it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
